I can't think of a witty title but it should involve sick!

Good day to you all, i have just got up and am feeling extremely chirpy. I have finished work till wednesday so that might have something to do with why i'm in such a good mood, also i'm taking devil boy (thats my 5 year old brother) to Johnny's Fun Factory and that place always makes me feel like a 10 year old. If you've never been its like a much better version of The Wacky Warehouse, i had my 7th & 10th birthdays there & they rocked! Its just full of slides,bouncy castles, ball pools and tunnels. I might try to sneak in and hang with my bro, do you reckon anyone will notice a 6 foot tall 23 year old playing in a ball pool? Last night at work was mental, it was like a war zone and clumsy fuckwit here slipped in sick! I wasnt a happy bunny, it's a good job i take spare uniform with me( its a dirty job but somebodys got to do it). Actually last night was full of bodily fluids, we had sick boy who was the funniest, drunkest person i've seen in my life. He was all scared because he had drunk 4 shots of absinthe and his uncle had told him you can die from 2 shots. I felt evil laughing at the poor boy but it was so funny. After sick boy i went round to search a bloke, he was soaking. Absolutely sodden ( how good a word is sodden, i didnt even look in a thesorus or anything for that one, i might have spelled thesorus correctly if i had) he was a big bloke so i thought try and be funny coz i didnt want to end up scrapping, i said something like " you couldn't miss a mouth that big with your pint, could you?". By this point i had started searching him and he turned round and said "it aint beer ,its piss". For fucks sake ,i get all the best jobs! I made my mind up about going out tomorrow after them 2, i'm gonna go out and get absolutely bladdered! Right then, i'm off to the shops to buy American Dad so i shall speak to y'all soon. see ya!

Look at these............

Look at these pics that i found earlier. How cool are these bad boys?

Feels like i've never been away

Good morning , well actually its 12:02 so technically i should say good afternoon but i have only been up for 10 minutes so it feels like morning to me. No more getting up befor 5am for me til Wednesday,yay ! Working night shifts today and tomorrow then i'm off till Wednesday so its all good. I prefer night shifts, all the customers we get are pisssed or drugged up and theres loads more fighting, yay for fighting. Plus i take my PSP on night shifts and me and Jim play golf while everyone else works. Jim is like the coolest 50 year old ever, he made his wife get him a psp for his 50th birthday and he knows more about computers than anyone i know, he is also Scottish and swears alot. Didnt write anything yesterday coz i was absolutely knackered, just watched the football then went to bed, i bet your all really disappointed by the fact i wrote nothing yesterday. Actually i think Catherine is the only person who reads this , hooray for Catherine! I really can't be arsed doing anything today so i will finish this today with a picture of a pretty lady then go and make some lunch (how posh am i? i said lunch rather than din dins) then watch Sky Sports News till its time to get ready for work. Take care everybody

Ooh Stick You .....................

I'm proper knackered today, been at work for the first time in 12 days. Nothing ever changes, its still full of wife beating scum and smack heads. To be fair today wasn't too busy and i spent most of the day chatting to one really nice police lady & eating Opel Fruits ( i know they are called Starburst now, but to me they will always be called Opel Fruits). I also managed to leave 2 hours early, bonus! Driving home from Lancaster with Dan was funny yesterday(that took 4 attempts to spell yesterday correctly, i'm sooo ready for my bed and its only 7;30 pm). The traffic on the bridge out off Lancaster was horrendous so we put my Daphne & Celeste album ( i have a massive obsession with D&C, its pretty unhealthy) on full blast and put all the windows right down so everyone else could listen, It was fun , i think the people in the car behind us might've thought we were hadicapped or something when we started dancing to U,G,L,Y though. Beccy sent me an email today full of wierd little questions which i'm gonna reply to in a mo then forward it on to some of my friends, is it geeky that i like stuff like that? I don't really care if other people think it is so that was a stupid question . I have a bit of a dilemma , i really want to go out on Sunday night & get drunk again but money is a bit of an issue, what should i do? I might wait and see whos all coming out before i make my mind up on that one. Right before i go, i have a question for whoever feels bored enough to answer,...... If you could go out for a night of alcohol fuelled fun & frolics with any 5 people you want (dead, alive, real or fictional) who would it be? I was thinking about this while i was driving to work this morning & decided on Peter Griffen, Butters from South Park, Vince Noir, Daisy Steiner from Spaced( one of the hottest women ever in my opinion) & i had a few problems picking the final spot but i think Ozzy Osbourne in his prime just about gets the nod . Thats me done for today . bye for now

Bareback Mounting

Right, first off all i don't know if this is gonna publish coz i've alredy tried posting this morning & it wouldn't work. I have just had the nicest sandwiches ever, bacon & red jalapinho(i reckon i spelt that wrong) peppers. I made it myself coz i was bored but they were good! Football was wicked last night, i'm really glad Matthew & James came . You will come again, THATS AN ORDER SOLDIERS! Actually how cool would it be if you 2 were my personal army,my army of retards( i know you aint retards really but just let me have my fantasies & i'm sorry if anyone finds what i'm saying about people less fortunate than ourselves offensive but hey,screw you i'm having fun), anyhow back to my 2 little soldiers, we could zoom about in motorised wheelchairs and shout our names at random passers by, a bit like Timmy. Can you imagine Matt in his chair shouting "MATTY" and drooling, haha oh dear that would be chucklesome. Oh i had the best idea for a film, it could potentially make me millions, its about the adventures of 5 lesbian cowgirls (the erotic adventures if you will) & i'd call it Bareback Mounting (just imagine a sluttier version of that pic. is Brokeback Mountain a real film?I'd watch it for that list of women!). I know not many shops would stock it (only specialist outlets that are frequented by old men in macs) but you know you'd want to see it. There was a Nevermind the Buzzcocks marathon on Sky last night, Mark Lamaar is wicked. Not many people make me laugh out loud and spit orange juice everywhere( actually i just went to the fridge, took a gob full and then spat it out just for a laugh) but he manages it( that was a lie about the random spitting of oj i was drinking it and its hard to keep it in your mouth when you are laughing),well done that man! Oooh i'm back at work tomorrow, should be fun. Havn't been for a couple of weeks while i have been sorting out a new car, only problem is i have to get up at 4;45am. How shit is that? Thats enough for now, but kaz if you (or anyone else for that matter) read my blog please leave a comment, don't just tell me i'm odd next time you see me. Oh before i forget i hope you didnt break your finger Matt, i broke mine a couple of months ago( well actually george broke it for me) and its still slightly swollen and painfull. Catherine, make him go to hospital if its all bruised and swollen. Take care y'all bbbbyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeee x

Whats all the fuss about binge drinking?

Oh my good do i feel bad today! Had such a goodtime yesterday, who would have thought getting absolutley wankered with money you havn't earned would be so much fun? I went out at about 1;15 pm and went to a proper old mans pub, real ale, pipe smoking & horse racing, it was ace. I bet £5 on Liverpool to win 2-1 and guess what, they fucking did. How awsome am i? I could call myself gypsy lee and wear a turban and perdict football scores ( could i make a career from that? hhhmmmmm......) i'd make a fortune. Anyhow, i got £55 from the bet so decided to blow it all on booze,yay for me ,Santa Booze! Matt , Catherine and Luke came out, i always have so much more fun when those guys come out & james came out for a bit too, with his "camp ones"t-shirt, yay. You need to drink with us all the time, sod your uni work & your futures , become full time winos and drink meths out of paper bags whilst sitting in the square swearing at little kids & old people (old people and kids are easy to scare, i know. scaring them is my hobby) just imagine the fun. Anyway thats enough for today, i have to go get ready to play football. bye y'all Oh p.s. thanks for leaving my first comment Catherine!

Well spank my ass and call me Joe Blogs!

Good day peolple & what a good day i'm having so far. I have just got home from my nanna's house where i have been moving furniture round and lifting up her carpet. Before that i took my old bug eyed Ford Fiesta to the scrap yard (*wipes tear from eye*) & they gave me £75 for it. I would have been happy if they had just took it but if they want to give me money, then who am i to stop them? After that (the scrap yard was ace by the way, i know why Wayne Cramp loves the scrap yard so much now. I aint no freaking girl pants) i picked up my new car, its a Fiat Punto & its wicked. I have one thing i need to moan about now ( i can't imagine the day where i don't moan about something), is it just me being shit or is it really hard to add links to other sites to my page? I spent about an hour yesterday trying to do it, in the end i just gave up and went to play Need For Speed on my Xbox 360. Anyway thats enough of my rambling for today( me rambling, imagine that. I could wear hiking boots and pretend i'm Mike from Spaced in the Rough Ramblers), i'm going to get ready to go to the pub and watch football now, COME ON LIVERPOOL!!!!!! (sorry about that little outburst) its not even 1pm yet i'm gonna be so hammered tonight, YAY! Byebye x

Helllooooooo

Right then, this is my first ever go at doing something like this so lets see how it goes. Ooooh i'm a blog virgin, yay for me. As you can probably see, spelling and punctuation aint that important to me unlike my good friend Catherine who's blog made up my mind that i wanted to write one. Since this is the first time i've done this i should really say something about myself, well i'm 23, very lazy, loves music (i'm listening to a band call Be Your Own Pet right now, they are awsome!) & i love The Mighty Boosh ( i've hugged Howard Moon, are you jealous?)! OOOOh i'm getting a shiney new car tomorrow too & then watching the Liverpool v Chelsea match in the pub, tomorrows gonna be a good day! I've had enough of talking about me for now ( i said i was lazy) but one question, how hot is that girl on the left? Shes the singer from Be Your Own Pet and i think she rocks!